Garth Brooks: Mom

I loved this Garth Brooks song about mothers ... while maybe not written for adopted mothers, I think it is a perfect fit!

Family is ... Adoption

If this video doesn't inspire you to DO something about the children in the world without a home, I'm not sure what would.

Click here to see how LOVE is really all you need to make a family.

Favorite Adoption books of 2013

These books were recommended by the Adoptive Families website. Please note that I have NOT personally read most of these books so these are not my personal recommendation.

MEMOIRS

BREEDING IN CAPTIVITY, by Stacy Bolt
			In her witty, irreverent, yet poignant memoir, Stacy Bolt recounts her quest to have a child at "advanced maternal age" with the help of an RE (Really Expensive fertility specialist), and then through domestic adoption.

NO MATTER WHAT, by Sally Donovan
			After adopting siblings with a history of abuse and neglect from the British foster system, Donovan and her husband realize that love alone won't heal their children. The author is disarmingly honest about their post-placement challenges—the outbursts (theirs and hers) and tenacity (theirs and hers) as they all ultimately let down their guard and learn to love.

INSTANT MOM, by Nia Vardalos
			"Funny, touching, and extremely honest. Vardalos starts with her time making My Big Fat Greek Wedding, when, it turns out, she was having an absolutely brutal time with multiple IVF tries. And then her desire to ‘have a baby' turned into a desire to ‘be a parent.' Anyone who adopted from foster care or internationally, like me, will relate to the struggles they had when they first brought their daughter home. A great read!"—HEATHER

THE EYE OF ADOPTION, by Jody Cantrell Dyer
			"I believe every woman currently waiting to adopt, or who knows someone who's waiting, should read this book. It amazed me how Jody so perfectly described feelings that I had myself. It helped me to understand that my feelings and emotions are completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I absolutely loved this book."—HOLLY

IF IT'S NOT ONE THING, IT'S YOUR MOTHER, by Julia Sweeney
			You would expect a memoir of motherhood and adoption by a comedian and former SNL cast member to be funny. And it is. But Julia Sweeney’s tale of adopting her daughter as a single mother, then later marrying and moving with her family from Los Angeles to Chicago, is also warm and real and sharply observed.

CHILDREN'S BOOKS

ADOPTED, LIKE ME, by Ann Angel; illustrated by Marc Thomas; ages 8+
			Let your child know that, through adoption, he or she joins the likes of George Washington Carver, Marilyn Monroe, John James Audubon, Aristotle, and others. The 19 short biographies of famous adoptees are accompanied by richly colored paintings.

I AM LATINO: THE BEAUTY IN ME , by Sandra L. Pinkney; photos by Myles C. Pinkney; ages 3-6
			The team that brought us Shades of Black: A Celebration of Our Children created another wonderful book with simple text and full-color photos. Seeing a child in a book who looks like them is powerfully affirming for any child, and I Am Latino illustrates the diversity of people of Latino descent.

CAN I TELL YOU ABOUT ADOPTION?, by Anne Braff Brodzinsky; illustrated by Rosy Salaman; ages 7+
			"Funny, touching, and extremely honest. Vardalos starts with her time making My Big Fat Greek Wedding, when, it turns out, she was having an absolutely brutal time with multiple IVF tries. And then her desire to ‘have a baby' turned into a desire to ‘be a parent.' Anyone who adopted from foster care or internationally, like me, will relate to the struggles they had when they first brought their daughter home. A great read!"—HEATHER

BORN FROM THE HEART, by Berta Serrano; illustrated by Alfonso Serrano; ages 3-6
			Reactions to Born from the Heart have been mixed. Some think it takes the pregnancy metaphor of a heart that grows bigger and bigger, necessitating clothes from "a special store for special moms like her," too far. Others see the tale, which the author based on her own early talks with her son, as light fantasy and "a cute way to explain adoption to a child." —KAT

ABC, ADOPTION AND ME, by Gayle Swift with Casey Swift; illustrated by Paul Griffin; ages 5+
			Although the "ABC" concept makes it seem that this would be a book for younger kids, this collaboration between an adoptive mother and her daughter tackles weighty topics. "What I love about this book is how it touches on many aspects of adoption that could be difficult to talk about, but not in a threatening or forceful way. It can be used over and over again as children grow—my 16-year-old even found it thought-provoking." —SUSAN

NOVELS

THE MOTHERS, by Jennifer Gilmore
			"I heard an interview with Jennifer Gilmore on Fresh Air and I thought she made the process sound miserable—a ridiculously long wait with one scam after another. But I was really impressed with how balanced the book was. She got so many of the details right—the way a relationship with a friend changes when she has a baby and you’re still waiting, the info meetings at the agency—at times, it felt like she just changed a few names and published a (well-written, well-edited) diary of her adoption wait." —MIRIAM

THE SEARCH ANGEL, by Tish Cohen
			Eleanor Sweet, adopted as a baby, is pursuing an adoption with her husband when he backs out at the last moment. She determines to go forward with the adoption on her own, but needs support—and some answers—so she hires Isabelle to locate her birth mother. "I liked the character of the 'search angel.' So many people who help others are hiding a secret pain themselves...." —JEN

AND THEN I FOUND YOU, by Patti Callahan Henry
			Twenty years after Patti Callahan Henry’s sister placed a baby for adoption, Henry was contacted by the young woman. With her sister’s permission, the novelist wrote a fictionalized account of her experiences leading up to the adoption plan and through the emotional reunion.

NON-FICTION

WELCOMING A NEW BROTHER OR SISTER THROUGH ADOPTION, by Arleta James
			Arleta James, a therapist specializing in adoption and attachment, has been working closely with families for more than a dozen years. Her expertise shines through in this comprehensive guide (not just for families pursuing a second adoption!) that’s filled with real-life examples and practical advice.

THE OPEN-HEARTED WAY TO OPEN ADOPTION, by Lori Holden with Crystal Hass
			"This is a beautifully honest, thoughtful, and enlightened guide—a book I wish my parents could have read before they adopted me. Keeping the well-being of the adopted child in mind, Lori explains why it’s so important to help heal the split between a child’s biography and biology. I encourage you to set aside any pre-conceived thoughts you have about openness in adoption and take a look. I recommend this to all of the adoptive and foster families I work with." —LESLI

TO THE END OF JUNE, by Cris Beam
			"Cris Beam’s book about the U.S. foster care system, is important, insightful, and depressing. I think anyone involved in foster care should read it. I find myself convinced that children should remain with their (birth) parents if at all possible, given the state of the system. Children often seem to be deeply damaged by foster care and by being separated from their parents, no matter how flawed. And I write this as an adoptive mother."......... —PAT

YOUNG ADULT/CHAPTER BOOKS

COUNTING BY 7S, by Holly Goldberg Sloan
			WIllow Chance, adopted transracially as an infant, has mastered several different languages and diagnostic medical texts by age 12. Although she has trouble fitting in at school, her parents have always understood her. After they die in a car crash, she must find a new place to belong. You’ll fall in love with and root for Willow and the rest of the quirky cast in this utterly charming novel.

AFTER ISAAC, by Avra Wing
			Three years after his brother’s death, at age 11, 16-year-old Aaron Saturn is just coming to terms with the loss. But when his parents announce their plans to adopt a baby girl from China, he’s once again thrown off-course. Avra Wing deftly captures the voice of her teenaged narrator, and explores the topics of friendship, family stability, and grief, alongside adoption and racism.

30 famous people who are adopted

1. Maya Angelou (poet and author)

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, and penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou

2. Augustus Caesar (emperor of Rome)

3. Truman Capote (author)

4. Kristin Chenoweth (actress)

5. Eric Clapton (singer)

6. President Bill Clinton

“Perhaps there is no greater miracle than finding a loving home for a child who needs one.” – President Bill Clinton

7. Nat King Cole (singer)

8. Ted Danson (actor, adoptive father)

9. President Gerald Ford

10. Jamie Foxx (singer, actor)

11. Newt Gingrich (politician)

12. Faith Hill (singer)

“I have a lot of respect for my birth mother…I know she must have had a lot of love for me to want to give me what she felt was a better chance.” – Faith Hill

13. Scott Hamilton (professional skater)

14. John Hancock (U.S. Founding Father)

15. Steve Jobs (co-founder of Apple)

16. Eartha Kitt (singer, actress)

17. John Lennon (singer)

18. Art Linkletter (TV personality)

19. Nelson Mandela (human rights activist)

“There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” – Nelson Mandela

20. Tim McGraw (singer)

21. Sarah McLachlan (singer)

22. Marilyn Monroe (actress)

23. Michael Oher (professional football, story inspired The Blind Side)

“It’s true that we can’t help the circumstances we’re born into and some of us start out in a much tougher place than other people. But just because we started there doesn’t mean we have to end there.” – Michael Oher

24. Edgar Allen Poe (author)

25. Priscilla Presley (actress)

26. First Lady Nancy Reagan

27. First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt

28. Babe Ruth (professional baseball player)

29. Dave Thomas (founder of Wendy’s, children’s advocate)

“Everyone’s got to be for a child to have a home and love. I mean, I don’t know anyone who would be against that.” – Dave Thomas

30. Leo Tolstoy (author)

*** I am continuing to update this page regularly on my main blog page. Click here to see if I have added any new people to the list.

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P.S. We'd like to add our favorite adoptees in our house: Superman, Kun Fu Panda, Jesus, Moses, and the girls on Despicable Me! Others include: George Washington Carver, John James Audubon and Aristotle. 

Download the FREE 15-page guide on Understanding Adoption and the Orphan Crisis 

Adoption commercial

A tad corny but worth sharing:

Our story (with three more kids)

I keep having people post this story on my facebook and blog. Like us, this couple was infertile. They adopted. Then they got pregnant. Exactly our story. Only they adopted triplets. And got pregnant with twins. Can I imagine this? No. It literally gives me heart palpitations to think about it. Click here to read this story for yourself.

 

What we can learn from Melissa Harris-Perry

What we can learn from Melissa Harris-Perry

This article can be read in its entirety by clicking on the link above. I read this article, and my heart immediately broke. It broke because I would NEVER want someone to point out to Isaac that he is different. It is happening already sometimes. People will say, "Why are you the big brother but your little brother is bigger?" I know this can happen in genetic families, but in our family it has happened because Isaac is adopted. I never want him to feel different. Because he is not. He belongs as much as anyone. My in-laws have eight grandchildren. Three of them are adopted! And I can tell you that they don't consider any of these children any different than any of the others, because they are not.

So what happened?

Last week, a segment appeared on Melissa Harris-Perry’s show on MSNBC that reviewed the best photos of the year and asked a panel of actors and comedians to give them humorous captions. It was supposed to be a light-hearted look back at the year, but things went awry. One of the photos was of Mitt and Ann Romney surrounded by all of their grandchildren . . . a photo tradition the Romney's do every year. This year, Mitt was holding his newly adopted African-American grandson, the only person of color amongst over 20 cousins. 


Immediately, the child’s racial difference became the focus. Actress Pia Glenn jokingly sang "one of these things is not like the others," (the song used in Sesame Street segments to help kids identify which object doesn’t belong) and comedian Dean Obeidallah joked that the photo "really sums up the diversity of the Republican Party." Melissa Harris-Perry wondered what it would be like if Kieran Romney (the child in focus) ended up marrying North West and Mitt found himself with Kanye as an in-law.

The segment was brief, but it immediately drew a firestorm from conservatives and adoptive parents alike. Conservatives were upset that they used the photo as an opportunity to take a pot-shot at their political party. Adoptive parents were upset that jokes were made indicating that this grandson didn’t fit n. Both were upset that such jokes were coming at the expense of a child.

The journalist issued an apology which was incredibly heartfelt:

"I am sorry. Without reservation or qualification. I apologize to the Romney family. I work by guiding principle that those who offend do not have the right to tell those they hurt that they [are] wrong for hurting. Therefore, while I meant no offense, I want to immediately apologize to the Romney family for hurting them. As black child born into large white Mormon family I feel familiarity w/ Romney family pic & never meant to suggest otherwise. I apologize to all families built on loving transracial adoptions who feel I degraded their lives or choices."

To read the entire article, click here. 

Our Adoption Story Featured!

November is "National Adoption Month." And more specifically, November 17th is "National Adoption Day." I'll be having tons more on this during the month, but today, I wanted to share with you my excitement that the story of our own adoption has been featured on the national organization's website. Click here to read the story for yourself. (Please note that when I posted this, our story was at the top, but I don't believe it will stay there. So you may have to scroll down and look for: We Believe in Adoption."

Ricki Lake

Ricki Lake is doing a show on adoption THIS Friday. If anyone is able to watch it or somehow tape it for me (I have trouble accessing any online TV shows because I am not in the USA), I'd LOVE to see this. At the very least, watch it for me. (Especially because a gal from a blog I read is going to be on it.)