Adoption Photos

I'm a little against maternity photos.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the sentiment behind them. And if you remember, I did do some maternity photos with my friend Kara right before I delivered Elijah. You can click here to view them if you would like.

However, I think my photos were pretty tastefully done. They were more about family and celebrating the three of us before we became four. I didn't get half-naked or look lovingly into my husband's eyes.

Now please. Understand me. If you have done this, that is totally fine. I know some people are really into it. I think my discomfort with the idea really stemmed from a lot of our infertility. And John, even now, doesn't understand the point of the photos at all. It all seems strange to him.

But others enjoy it. The pictures are often very beautiful. And people like them. So that's fine.

However, I did get a kick out of a post recently sent to me by one of JB's medical school classmates. Lisa, sent me this link sometime ago. I think I went in for surgery shortly before or thereafter, and as a result, this got pushed into the background. But I've been meaning to share it for some time.

These are some photos taken for a couple preparing to adopt. They are designed to "mimic" maternity photos in a sort of a weird, twisted, and humorous way. I am not sure how I feel about the pictures, but since they are being done by a couple "in the know", I give a little more credence to them.

I'd love to hear what some of you fellow adoptive moms think of these.

Metaphorical Adoption Maternity Photos

Now pictures aside, I did find some of what the blog author wrote about adoption on her post very interesting. A few excerpts:

During the past year that I’ve known our friends. I’ve witnessed some of the more excruciatingly difficult and exquisitely painful moments that accompany the adoption process, while coming to terms with just how little most of us really understand about it. And it seems like one big part of being adoptive parents, no matter to whom, is having to play the role of benevolent public educator to an ignorant public who will take the existence of your children as some kind of personal challenge or display of moral one-upmanship.

And then there’s the obnoxious questions that will always follow them: why can’t you have children of your own? Don’t you know that they’re going to wonder why they look different from you? How much did they cost? Why didn’t their mother want them? What if there’s something wrong with them? What are you going to do with That Hair? You are going to induce lactation, aren’t you?
Even as an innocent bystander, these really raise my ire because of the amount of unthinking, condescending privilege that underscores them. I don’t know a single biological parent who’s had the very choice to give birth to their children questioned so constantly, and throughout her child’s life; you just don’t see pregnant ladies having to face an inquisition squad in line at the grocery checkout, full of people wondering why they didn’t choose to adopt? Couldn’t they have investigated foster care? Don’t they realize that there are already so many children already out there who need homes?

As you can imagine, a sense of humor is integral. And, at some point, Alana got the idea of taking a few metaphorical maternity photos, starring a large beach ball in lieu of a pregnant belly. This, after a couple of Google searches, led to the wide, bizarre, pretentious, tacky, often-naked, and always moodily black-and-white world of maternity portrait photography. And creative inspiration.

Anyways, I'd love to get some feedback from people on "both sides" of this issue. Does anyone else find the whole maternity photo a weird thing? Or is it simply because of my history that these strike me a bit funny?

And what about these adoptive photos? In good taste or sort of strange? No right answers here folks. Just something to think about.

And also something to remember. Adoptive moms have to answer a TON of questions. I don't mind doing that, but it is true that I often find myself as an educator instead of just a mom. I wonder how biological moms would feel if they had to answer some of these questions.

Just thinking outloud ...