100 Comment Vigil

Many kids in foster care feel like they don't have a prayer ... let's change that.

There are more than 400,000 children in the United States foster care system. Each of their stories is different, but in many ways, each of them is alarmingly similar. No matter their story, each and every one desperately needs prayer.

The National Foster Care Prayer Vigil was created to call followers of Christ wherever they are to ask the God of the Universe to do great and mighty things on their behalf. He hears our prayers, and we know He will answer our plea for these precious children and for the people who love and care for them.

The 5th annual National Foster Care Prayer Vigil, is scheduled for May 20-27. The 2012 National Foster Care Prayer Vigil offers followers of Jesus the opportunity to pray for the children, the workers, and the families in our nation's foster care system. Perhaps most importantly, it offers an opportunity for believers to ask God to work in His church on behalf of the children, to change our hearts, and use us in their lives.

I am in the midst of a move across the world so organizing an actual Vigil is not something I can do right now. But I did think it'd be great to organize a virtual Vigil. I am asking that those of you who can take the time to pray for those children in foster care, leave a comment on the blog. Would you leave a comment which includes the place you are located. It can say "Anonymous in California" or "Jamie in Raleigh." Whatever you want. Whatever you like. My goal is to get 100 people to comment that they have prayed.
You can download this prayer guide, but I am also asking that you pray specifically for the following things:

The children

1. Pray that children in the foster care system come to know Jesus as their Lord and savior.
2. Pray that these children experience God's love through the care given to them by all involved in the foster system.
3. Pray that these children would be given a "Forever Family" and that their hearts will be ready for the family they have waiting for them.
4. Pray that sibling groups can stay intact or in contact with each other.
5. Pray that God would heal the deep hurts these children have experienced and protect them from future harm.
6. Pray that the lives of these children will be transformed and that they will be able to forgive those who have wronged them.
7. Pray for the hundreds of thousands of young adults in this country who have "aged out" of the child welfare system. Pray that they can still find a family to forever call theirs through mentors or Godly mentors who can help them navigate life wisely.

The church

1. Pray that God would raise up people to launch ministries for orphans and waiting children.
2. Pray that church leaders would respond to the needs in the foster care system and actively engage these children.
3. Pray that believers would be consumed with compassion for these children and make themselves available for how God wants to use them.

On Becoming a Mother

I love this essay. It perfectly captures the feelings I had when we adopted Isaac. At first, I felt like a fake. Like an outsider. Like an observer. I felt like I was playing house. It didn't feel real. And then, all of a sudden, one day, I had that mother bear feeling. I knew I would protect this child with my life and I loved him like no other. Whoever said blood is thicker than water, never adopted.

By: Clair Houston
Somewhere along the way, between "gotcha" and today, I became her mother. It's hard to say when. The day I first saw her, I was an independent, 44-year-old woman, and she was a cute, 10-month-old, baby girl. Now, when I look at her, I know that I am her mother, and she is my daughter.

After a year-and-a-half and mountains of paperwork, a child was placed in my arms. We were strangers. She was leaving the known world of her foster home, and my husband and I were taking on this unknown baby from an unfamiliar land where Caucasians are rare.

We retreated to our hotel room and began to play house. It felt that strange. We knew four things about her needs: food, diapers, stimulation, and sleep. We began to go through the motions of all four, and, several hours later, collapsed into bed, laughing quietly. She was sound asleep as we remembered the Talking Heads' lyrics, "My God, what have we done!" We weren't confident about our parenting skills, but, somehow, it all worked.

More days of meticulous paperwork ensued—interviews, signatures, passports—to prove that we were who we said we were. My husband and I tag-teamed very well, but still, we felt we were spectators to this little girl.

During the adoption process, you spend a lot of time saying over and over to officials that you want this baby, that you will treat her like gold, and you promise never to abandon her. Then, you finally get the baby, and all the hoops disappear. The reality of this being's presence begins to come into focus. Yet I continued to feel more like a curious observer than a mom.

A loving homecoming at the airport brought friends and family out to celebrate our return to American soil. We entered our house to find balloons, gifts, meals in the fridge, and plenty of good wishes. The baby girl looked around, then smiled. She liked the house that she would soon learn was her new home.

Jet-lagged and sick, I had trouble feeling like I was myself, let alone feeling like a mother. But, slowly, new routines began to emerge at home. My husband and I marveled at her intelligence, at how fast she learned and applied her learning. She laughed. She laughed a lot. We could see that she was a happy girl.

It was delightful to engage with her and get the reward of a baby's belly laugh. She liked to see that she could make us laugh. Days slipped by, and our souls were secretly being woven together.

I saw the first glimpse of this elusive bond about a month after her arrival. Acquaintances stopped by to give her a gift, yet they seemed more attentive to each other than to her. She handed them her favorite toys, and they absently took them and put them down. She played peek-a-boo with them, and they vaguely participated. She looked somber. At first, I didn't think much of it, but, after a while, I noticed a dulling of her eyes.

I swept her up and announced that we had to make dinner. Our guests departed, and I turned my full attention to her. We looked at her toys and our cats, and played peek-a-boo in earnest. We laughed together. Her light quickly returned.

A similar encounter happened the next day, and I felt, deep in my gut, a vow emerging. "I see you, dear girl. I see your light, and you see mine. I will guard and steward that light. Fear not, I won't let them swallow it up."

I was surprised by the fierceness of these feelings. And then I understood: I had become Mom to Evie.

A definitive peacefulness has followed that realization. I am clear about my purpose with this little girl. And I recognize the mother lionness in me. The mysterious bonding thread has formed, and although we are not genetically formed, one from the other, genetic programming has kicked in. I am genetically programmed to take care of this baby human, and she is genetically programmed to bond with me, her mother. All is well with the world, and working perfectly.

Debt and Adoption

I recently stumbled across the following radio interview with financial guru Dave Ramsey. How to Adopt Without Debt. You can read about the interview by clicking here. You can listen to the interview by clicking here.

He is talking to Julie Gumm, author of the book: Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways to Cover the Cost of Adoption.

I absolutely LOVE Dave Ramsey. He helped my husband I get completely debt free. We are huge fans of Financial Peace and the debt snowball idea. There are many other financial gurus, all with the same basic message: live debt free.

I found this intereview to be right up my alley. I definitely want to get Julie Gumm's book. I do believe that while adoption costs are high, there are a lot of resources and avenues that can be employed to adopt without going into significant debt -- thus one of the reasons we founded Because of Isaac.

Be forewarned. Dave is speaking to people wanting to adopt a child to "help the world." Not people adopting due to childlessness. to adopt a child.

I also did some research on Dave Ramsey's website and found his take on financing infertility treatments or considering adoption. I thought that during these calls, Dave did an incredible job showing compassion and empathy for individuals having to make these difficult decisions.

• A debt before adopt?  Question: Sharon and her husband make $90,000 a year with several thousand dollars in debt. They are considering infertility treatments. What does Dave say about starting a family while in debt?
• Pause the debt snowball for infertility treatments?  Question: Eric in Wisconsin and his wife are down to two debts they’re paying off. They’re approaching their five-year anniversary and want to start a family. They want to consider some fertility treatments making $50,000 a year. Is it okay to pause the debt snowball for this?
• Heart Wrenching Story  Question: Robin is incorporating fertility planning with Dave's financial planning. Insurance pays for most of the fertility planning and they pay their 20% with cash. They have $2,000 left in their fertility budget. She is 39 and feels "under the gun" personally and financially. Dave gives her a disclaimer and offers his best advice.