I've recently stumbled upon an article with Christian musician Mark Schultz. He was adopted at two weeks old. You can read his adoption story HERE.
He's written a fantastic song I wanted to share with on the start of "Adoption Awareness Month". Here it is. And the lyrics follow.
I must have felt your tears
When they took me from your arms
I’m sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Lonely and afraid had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried
But you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night
(Chorus)
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me
And if I saw you on the street
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or green like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And I hope that you’d be proud of who I am
(Chorus)
You gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
And a chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
On our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind
When you gave me up
You gave everything to me
And when I see you there
Watching from heaven’s gates
Into your arms I’m gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was And who I’ve become
(Chorus)
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Our May Baby
In the midst of finishing our Dossier from our adoption for China, JB and I received a phone call that would alter the direction of our lives greatly. The post below, which was originally written on October 22, 2007, was the first time I wrote on the blog about our adoption of our son Isaac. Click here to read this post as it originally ran on my Daily Blog.
I have refrained from writing about this on my blog for almost six weeks now.
That refraining is now over. Here's the news I have been wanting to share for so long.
It appears that JB and I will be parents in May.
Now before you go and start asking if we are pregnant, the answer is no. However, our lives were completely rocked about six weeks ago when we were asked to be parents of a baby due to be born in May.
In the next few weeks/months, I will probably write more about the family that has asked this of us. But for now, I will just leave it at that. The reason I have not shared more is that this is something two families are dealing with, and out of respect for that family, I'd like to leave them with their privacy.
I will say that JB and I are amazingly honored, excited, thrilled, terrified, and overwhelmed. We never thought we would adopt domestically or adopt an infant.
I guess God had other plans, and boy are we glad that He did!
The reason I have chosen to write about this now, is that, after talking with JB, I realized that this blog is an outlet for me -- a way to share what is going on in my heart. There has been a lot going on in there that I have not shared. There are now new developments, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to blog without blogging about this topic. Since I am very honest and open on this blog, I am sure you can understand this.
We were okay with waiting to share, until this week, when there were some new developments that have caused some need for prayer and have provided me with some angst. And I wanted to share that with those of you who read this blog. Many of you pray for us faithfully, and I want to ask for that prayer.
So let me explain the developments.
When we were approached about becoming in parents in May, JB and I took the time to think and pray about this. We quickly knew two things:
(1) We wanted to adopt this baby.
(2) We still wanted to adopt our China baby.
We immediately contacted our adoption agency (America World). The rule had been that any concurrent adoption or pregnancy would require the China adoption to be halted. This seemed difficult to imagine since the wait was already so long. Unbeknownst to us, America World was, that same week, updating their policy to allow for people to proceed with another adoption or pregnancy as long as the children would enter the home at least 12 months apart. This was great news to us! If we adopted this baby in May, with the wait times as they are, it would be another 18 months (at least) before our China baby came home.
This all occurred right before our home study. We began working with a lawyer in Florida in regards to our domestic adoption. He was pretty confident we could use this home study for both adoptions. We still aren't sure if this is accurate or not but are hoping that we can. We decided to proceed with the home study in the hopes that it could be used for at least one of the adoptions and hopefully both.
A few days after the home study was completed, we got word from America World that yes, in fact, they would allow us to proceed with both adoptions at the same time! We were ecstatic! Nothing could be sweeter than to be able to adopt this baby in May and move forward with the China adoption at the same time.
I say all that to say that this week, our agency contacted us again. They are not sure that China will support their new policy. We, of course, think this is absurd. The wait for China is over two years!!! By the time our China adoption went through, this baby would be over a year and a half old.
However, for now, all we can do is wait while America World hashes things out with the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs). If China does not allow us to do both, we will most likely have to halt the China adoption for approximately 12-18 months -- until our "May baby" is a certain age (6 months or 1 year -- I am not sure.)
Here's what we do know:
(1) We are ecstatic to adopt this baby in May.
(2) We will proceed with the May adoption no matter what.
(3) We will proceed with the China adoption no matter what; however, we pray that there does not have to be a "delay" in this adoption.
Here's what we are asking you to pray for:
(1) The family of our "May baby" -- especially the birth mom.
(2) Health for our "May baby".
(3) That our China baby comes to us in the timing the Lord has in mind. He knows who she is so if that means waiting longer for her, we will wait. (But we don't want to!)
I will be sharing more with you in the weeks and months to come I am sure. We do plan to find out the sex of our May baby.
This post has been fairly matter-of-fact. That's the best way we know how to approach all this right now. A lot can change between now and this baby's birth date. We are unbelievably blessed that this birth mom has asked us, when we weren't even asking to be picked. We are unbelievably blessed that we may be parents in a mere seven months! We are very excited. However, we are, as we describe it "guardedly excited" -- protecting our hearts during this long wait.
I am glad to finally, allow you all to share this long wait with us.
I have refrained from writing about this on my blog for almost six weeks now.
That refraining is now over. Here's the news I have been wanting to share for so long.
It appears that JB and I will be parents in May.
Now before you go and start asking if we are pregnant, the answer is no. However, our lives were completely rocked about six weeks ago when we were asked to be parents of a baby due to be born in May.
In the next few weeks/months, I will probably write more about the family that has asked this of us. But for now, I will just leave it at that. The reason I have not shared more is that this is something two families are dealing with, and out of respect for that family, I'd like to leave them with their privacy.
I will say that JB and I are amazingly honored, excited, thrilled, terrified, and overwhelmed. We never thought we would adopt domestically or adopt an infant.
I guess God had other plans, and boy are we glad that He did!
The reason I have chosen to write about this now, is that, after talking with JB, I realized that this blog is an outlet for me -- a way to share what is going on in my heart. There has been a lot going on in there that I have not shared. There are now new developments, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to blog without blogging about this topic. Since I am very honest and open on this blog, I am sure you can understand this.
We were okay with waiting to share, until this week, when there were some new developments that have caused some need for prayer and have provided me with some angst. And I wanted to share that with those of you who read this blog. Many of you pray for us faithfully, and I want to ask for that prayer.
So let me explain the developments.
When we were approached about becoming in parents in May, JB and I took the time to think and pray about this. We quickly knew two things:
(1) We wanted to adopt this baby.
(2) We still wanted to adopt our China baby.
We immediately contacted our adoption agency (America World). The rule had been that any concurrent adoption or pregnancy would require the China adoption to be halted. This seemed difficult to imagine since the wait was already so long. Unbeknownst to us, America World was, that same week, updating their policy to allow for people to proceed with another adoption or pregnancy as long as the children would enter the home at least 12 months apart. This was great news to us! If we adopted this baby in May, with the wait times as they are, it would be another 18 months (at least) before our China baby came home.
This all occurred right before our home study. We began working with a lawyer in Florida in regards to our domestic adoption. He was pretty confident we could use this home study for both adoptions. We still aren't sure if this is accurate or not but are hoping that we can. We decided to proceed with the home study in the hopes that it could be used for at least one of the adoptions and hopefully both.
A few days after the home study was completed, we got word from America World that yes, in fact, they would allow us to proceed with both adoptions at the same time! We were ecstatic! Nothing could be sweeter than to be able to adopt this baby in May and move forward with the China adoption at the same time.
I say all that to say that this week, our agency contacted us again. They are not sure that China will support their new policy. We, of course, think this is absurd. The wait for China is over two years!!! By the time our China adoption went through, this baby would be over a year and a half old.
However, for now, all we can do is wait while America World hashes things out with the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs). If China does not allow us to do both, we will most likely have to halt the China adoption for approximately 12-18 months -- until our "May baby" is a certain age (6 months or 1 year -- I am not sure.)
Here's what we do know:
(1) We are ecstatic to adopt this baby in May.
(2) We will proceed with the May adoption no matter what.
(3) We will proceed with the China adoption no matter what; however, we pray that there does not have to be a "delay" in this adoption.
Here's what we are asking you to pray for:
(1) The family of our "May baby" -- especially the birth mom.
(2) Health for our "May baby".
(3) That our China baby comes to us in the timing the Lord has in mind. He knows who she is so if that means waiting longer for her, we will wait. (But we don't want to!)
I will be sharing more with you in the weeks and months to come I am sure. We do plan to find out the sex of our May baby.
This post has been fairly matter-of-fact. That's the best way we know how to approach all this right now. A lot can change between now and this baby's birth date. We are unbelievably blessed that this birth mom has asked us, when we weren't even asking to be picked. We are unbelievably blessed that we may be parents in a mere seven months! We are very excited. However, we are, as we describe it "guardedly excited" -- protecting our hearts during this long wait.
I am glad to finally, allow you all to share this long wait with us.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Adopted By God
John Piper had a fantastic sermon on adoption. You can read (or listen) to the entire sermon here: Predestined for Adoption to the Praise of His Glory. However, the post that follows will summarize his comparison of adoption by God to adoption of children.
One thing that has been on my heart is introducing everyone to the wonders of adoption. Even if you have your own children, you can include adopted children in your home (or help support children who are orphaned).
Here's a quick summary of this sermon! It's really a fascinating piece.
Rev. Piper had three main reasons for giving this sermon:
1. We adopt a child not for our own glory but for God’s glory.
God adopted us for the praise of the glory of his grace. Therefore we adopt for the praise of the glory of his grace. The questions you ask as you ponder adopting a child who needs a family are not first questions of feasibility or affordability. The questions you ask first are: Is my heart fixed on glorifying the grace of God? Is my aim in this to make the grace of God look glorious? Is Christ the center and goal of this decision? Are all the factors being weighed in relation to Christ? We adopt a child not for our own glory but for the glory of God’s grace.
2. In adopting and rearing a child our goal is not to make much of the child, but rather to live and teach and lead in such a way that the child grows up to enjoy making much of God.
Our aim is not to take a child’s low views of self and replace them with high views of self. Rather our aim is to take a child’s low views of God and replace them with high views of God. Our aim is not take a child with little sense of worth and fill him with a great sense of worth. Rather our aim is to take a child who by nature makes himself the center of the universe and show him that he was made to put God at the center of the universe and get joy not from seeing his own tiny worth, but from knowing Christ who is of infinite worth. We adopt to lead a child to the everlasting joy of making much of the glory of the grace of God.
3. In adopting we model for children and others the mercy and the justice of God.
We model mercy because we freely choose to love this child, no matter what. Many adoptions happen sight unseen. The child passes no test. He is loved freely without meeting conditions. We don’t base our choice on what we see. We love because we have been loved. This is mercy.
And when the child comes, chosen freely by mercy, we now fold that child into a pattern of firm and sweet discipline. We fold him into the mercy of justice. From the very beginning, within weeks, there are expectations and consequences when these expectations are not met. We raise the child in “the discipline and instruction of the Lord." And we know from Hebrews 12 that the discipline of the Lord is often painful because without discipline there will be no “peaceful fruit of righteousness." So we see in adoption the mercy and the justice of God mingled in wise and loving proportion.
4. Adopting will almost certainly bring heartache and stress and suffering, just like adoption cost God the life of his Son.
We are adopted “through Jesus Christ”—through his suffering. I have letters from parents in my files describing the agony of adoptions that didn’t work or almost didn’t work. Cases of mental illness and profound physical disability and bizarre and inexplicable behavior. Of course this is not unique to adoption. It can happen—it does happen—with our biological children. The implication is this: we adopt with our eyes wide open. This will bring pain. And this may bring tragedy. We embraced it. And, if we are faithful, in the end, it will certainly bring joy. Because of implication #5:
5. We dare only adopt children if we have a firm faith in the all-sufficiency of God’s future grace.The pain of adopting and rearing children is sure. It will come in one form or the other. Should that stop us from having children or adopting children? No. The self-centered world “cuts their losses” by having few or no children. (And there is way too much of that thinking in the church.) In one sense we may be very glad that such people don’t tend to have children or at least not many children. Because it means that breed of selfish person will die out more quickly since they don’t replace themselves. But on the other hand, we grieve, hoping that they will see that the grace of God is sufficient for every new day no matter how difficult, and that there is more true joy in walking with God through fire, than walking on beaches without him.
Click here to read this post as it originally ran on my Daily Blog.
One thing that has been on my heart is introducing everyone to the wonders of adoption. Even if you have your own children, you can include adopted children in your home (or help support children who are orphaned).
Here's a quick summary of this sermon! It's really a fascinating piece.
Rev. Piper had three main reasons for giving this sermon:
- that all of us would consider and embrace the wonder of our adoption into God’s family through Jesus Christ, and
- that all of us would support the ministry of adoption
- that many of you married couples would consider adopting children into their family as an overflow of the inheritance that we have in Christ from God, your Father. My assumption is that we need to understand and enjoy our own adoption by God before we can properly understand and enjoy what it should mean to adopt a child into our family.
- Adoption Is From God
- Adoption Is Through Jesus Christ
- Adoption Is for God’s Glory
1. We adopt a child not for our own glory but for God’s glory.
God adopted us for the praise of the glory of his grace. Therefore we adopt for the praise of the glory of his grace. The questions you ask as you ponder adopting a child who needs a family are not first questions of feasibility or affordability. The questions you ask first are: Is my heart fixed on glorifying the grace of God? Is my aim in this to make the grace of God look glorious? Is Christ the center and goal of this decision? Are all the factors being weighed in relation to Christ? We adopt a child not for our own glory but for the glory of God’s grace.
2. In adopting and rearing a child our goal is not to make much of the child, but rather to live and teach and lead in such a way that the child grows up to enjoy making much of God.
Our aim is not to take a child’s low views of self and replace them with high views of self. Rather our aim is to take a child’s low views of God and replace them with high views of God. Our aim is not take a child with little sense of worth and fill him with a great sense of worth. Rather our aim is to take a child who by nature makes himself the center of the universe and show him that he was made to put God at the center of the universe and get joy not from seeing his own tiny worth, but from knowing Christ who is of infinite worth. We adopt to lead a child to the everlasting joy of making much of the glory of the grace of God.
3. In adopting we model for children and others the mercy and the justice of God.
We model mercy because we freely choose to love this child, no matter what. Many adoptions happen sight unseen. The child passes no test. He is loved freely without meeting conditions. We don’t base our choice on what we see. We love because we have been loved. This is mercy.
And when the child comes, chosen freely by mercy, we now fold that child into a pattern of firm and sweet discipline. We fold him into the mercy of justice. From the very beginning, within weeks, there are expectations and consequences when these expectations are not met. We raise the child in “the discipline and instruction of the Lord." And we know from Hebrews 12 that the discipline of the Lord is often painful because without discipline there will be no “peaceful fruit of righteousness." So we see in adoption the mercy and the justice of God mingled in wise and loving proportion.
4. Adopting will almost certainly bring heartache and stress and suffering, just like adoption cost God the life of his Son.
We are adopted “through Jesus Christ”—through his suffering. I have letters from parents in my files describing the agony of adoptions that didn’t work or almost didn’t work. Cases of mental illness and profound physical disability and bizarre and inexplicable behavior. Of course this is not unique to adoption. It can happen—it does happen—with our biological children. The implication is this: we adopt with our eyes wide open. This will bring pain. And this may bring tragedy. We embraced it. And, if we are faithful, in the end, it will certainly bring joy. Because of implication #5:
5. We dare only adopt children if we have a firm faith in the all-sufficiency of God’s future grace.The pain of adopting and rearing children is sure. It will come in one form or the other. Should that stop us from having children or adopting children? No. The self-centered world “cuts their losses” by having few or no children. (And there is way too much of that thinking in the church.) In one sense we may be very glad that such people don’t tend to have children or at least not many children. Because it means that breed of selfish person will die out more quickly since they don’t replace themselves. But on the other hand, we grieve, hoping that they will see that the grace of God is sufficient for every new day no matter how difficult, and that there is more true joy in walking with God through fire, than walking on beaches without him.
Click here to read this post as it originally ran on my Daily Blog.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Home Study Q & A
I wrote the post that follows in the days leading up to our home study. No matter how much you try not to be nervous, inviting a new person to your home to study you is always a bit overwhelming.
Click here to read this post as it originally ran on my Daily Blog.
It is Sunday. I am at home, catching up on work, while JB is on call the entire day. Sunday call stinks! He left this morning and won't be home until Monday morning. Hopefully, if he sleeps tonight, we'll get to spend some time together on Monday. If he didn't, he'll sleep all day Monday.
Yesterday was a fun day. It has rained most of the weekend due to this tropical depression that swung near us. As a result, we couldn't walk Scrubs. So instead, we played hide-and-go-seek in the house with him in the morning. He loves this. One of us hides and he finds us, gets a treat, and then plays it with the other person. It also teaches him to "come" so that's good. Our dog teacher suggested it. Later in the evening, when the rain had died down for a bit, we went to the beach and played Frisbee. Scrubs is now catching the Frisbee in his mouth sometimes which is quite exciting. He just loves the water. Of course, that meant a bath when we got home. He's getting better about baths.
Yesterday, I posted about my home study. My mother-in-law posted a question about this:
Wendi, do you actually know what she is going to do-maybe someone who has gone thru this has given you some ideas? Does she just pretend to not be in your home and observe or does she interview you about your meal plan/diet, television preferences and the like all day?Or does she just act like a friend visiting and hang out? And will she be there all day for the three days or come and go between your home and the one in Tallahassee?
So, she will spend a few hours with us tomorrow evening. Then she'll get a hotel. On Tuesday she'll interview each of separately for about an hour. Then she'll go back to our hotel. Then on Wednesday, another short meeting with the two of us.
I have been seeking advice from others on my online support group. Here are some of the comments I have received. Some of these are from my friend Amy who adopted. Amy always knows what to do!
I hear they also check on your pets. I hope Scrubs behaves and doesn't jump on her head like he did to me last night while I was on the phone with Kelsey!
Click here to read this post as it originally ran on my Daily Blog.
It is Sunday. I am at home, catching up on work, while JB is on call the entire day. Sunday call stinks! He left this morning and won't be home until Monday morning. Hopefully, if he sleeps tonight, we'll get to spend some time together on Monday. If he didn't, he'll sleep all day Monday.
Yesterday was a fun day. It has rained most of the weekend due to this tropical depression that swung near us. As a result, we couldn't walk Scrubs. So instead, we played hide-and-go-seek in the house with him in the morning. He loves this. One of us hides and he finds us, gets a treat, and then plays it with the other person. It also teaches him to "come" so that's good. Our dog teacher suggested it. Later in the evening, when the rain had died down for a bit, we went to the beach and played Frisbee. Scrubs is now catching the Frisbee in his mouth sometimes which is quite exciting. He just loves the water. Of course, that meant a bath when we got home. He's getting better about baths.
Yesterday, I posted about my home study. My mother-in-law posted a question about this:
Wendi, do you actually know what she is going to do-maybe someone who has gone thru this has given you some ideas? Does she just pretend to not be in your home and observe or does she interview you about your meal plan/diet, television preferences and the like all day?Or does she just act like a friend visiting and hang out? And will she be there all day for the three days or come and go between your home and the one in Tallahassee?
So, she will spend a few hours with us tomorrow evening. Then she'll get a hotel. On Tuesday she'll interview each of separately for about an hour. Then she'll go back to our hotel. Then on Wednesday, another short meeting with the two of us.
I have been seeking advice from others on my online support group. Here are some of the comments I have received. Some of these are from my friend Amy who adopted. Amy always knows what to do!
- I wouldn't be concerned with anything else. They just want to see where you live so they can vouch for you and feel confident you have a safe home. Safe doesn't mean baby-proofed at this point, but I suppose they don't want to see 20 cats and smell cat pee, or see roaches crawling around, your porch falling off your house, or your neighbors smoking crack out in the street. I don't think you'd have a problem with any of those.
- Our caseworker also wanted to know that we knew where the nearest hospital was, what schools are in the area, and had a fire escape plan for our home. A fire extinguisher is a good investment, and smoke detectors in each bedroom are a must. Even if they aren't yet installed, know whether you'll need to put one in somewhere.
- The social worker asked about us, how we met, what we believed, what we thought our parenting styles would be like. Lots of questions in an interview fashion. It was very relaxed and comfortable.
- I agree with the previous posts...you will clean like you never have before! I remember our SW coming for our domestic adoption and she didn't even want to see the baby room! I insisted that she take a look *lol* I bet she was amused...last year we were where you are right now...pursuing adoption from Haiti and also on the waiting list for domestic adoption.
- Oh yeah, I showed our caseworker our GARAGE! lol Like she cared! She was like, "Oh, that's nice."
I hear they also check on your pets. I hope Scrubs behaves and doesn't jump on her head like he did to me last night while I was on the phone with Kelsey!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Autobiography
The following was the autobiography I wrote for our adoption from China -- an adoption that we ended up pulling out of when the wait grew too long. Click here to read this post as it originally ran on my Daily Blog. We had no idea that by May of 2008 we would be adopted parents in a completely different way than we had planned.
Growing up in South Florida as the oldest of two children, I had a fairly “storybook” like life. I was raised in a good Christian home. I attended a good Christian school. My parents were good Christian parents. My brother Keith, who was two years younger than myself was a typical younger brother. However, despite our normal sibling disagreements, we were both good kids that refrained from getting into any “real” trouble through adolescence. I feel unbelievably blessed to have been raised in the home that I was. I learned the value of money and quality time. Today I am incredibly close with my parents, my brother, and his wife.
My parents were foster parents themselves, and my little brother “John” is still someone I look back on with fond memories. In addition, we had a young African American mother and her daughter move in with us for an extended period of time while they tried to get back on their feet financially. I remember my brother and I willingly shared a room during this time without question. I was instilled with the value system that as Christians, we should care for the widows and the orphans. As John and I married, we also willingly opened our home to those who have fallen on difficult times. We learned to never turn people away.
My husband John (whom I call “JB”), meanwhile, was growing up in a very similar environment. The second oldest of six children, his family was also living in a house filled with love and the Lord. In fact, it was at that good Christian school that we met. While I was actually in the third grade when he first transferred to Fort Lauderdale Christian School, it wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I talked him into falling in love with me. He was a year older and his graduation took him to a nearby technical college on a full scholarship. We continued to date while he pursued a career as a graphic designer.
I grew up surrounded by athletics and had my pick of colleges and universities to attend on either a basketball, volleyball, or combination scholarship. I settled on basketball at Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green, Kentucky. After my second year of college, John was awarded his Associates Degree and decided to move to Kentucky so that we could end our long distance dating. He drove to Kentucky with what fit in his car and one month’s rent. He quickly found a job as a graphic designer for a local design firm.
Before my senior year of college, we decided to get married. We had been dating over four years at that point and despite our young ages (21 and 22), we had no doubt that we had found the perfect life partner. We had a modest wedding in Kentucky and settled into a comfy townhouse.
Over the next five years, our lives would go through a substantial number of changes. I took a job teaching high school English and journalism and coaching basketball and volleyball at a public high school about 30 miles from Bowling Green. A year later, we decided to move to that tiny town of 8,000 to eliminate my commute. The business John worked for went bankrupt, and he decided to open up his own graphic design business out of our home. He also made the decision during this time to go back to school while running his business. In 2003, he would be accepted at the prestigious Mayo Medical School in Rochester, Minnesota, and we would move there so that he could pursue his dream of becoming a physician. He would also be commissioned as an officer in the U.S. Air Force – a reverse GI bill of sorts that would pay for medical school.
We moved together to Rochester, Minnesota in 2003. I took a job teaching and coaching again while John began medical school. In 2004, I decided to change careers and began writing and editing for a non-profit organization and a cardiovascular researcher at the Mayo Clinic.
In June of 2007, we moved to Eglin Air Force Base in northern Florida. My husband began his internship in family medicine. I continue to work for the same two companies from my home. I work full-time writing and editing.
Both John and I are in very good health. My only health issues have been related to our infertility. I was diagnosed with PCOS and any medication I have taken was related to attempting to correct this problem or pursue infertility treatments.
I am unbelievably blessed with the husband the Lord picked out for me. John is my best friend. We have a wonderful and healthy marriage and enjoy spending time together immensely. I would not change my spouse for anything in the world. Quite honestly, the biggest conflict we have had during our nine years of marriage surrounded adoption. I felt I was ready to adopt only a year or two after we started infertility treatments. John did not feel I was ready for this. We handled this disagreement the way we always do – choosing to move forward only when both parties are on the same page. We meet in prayer and just asked the Lord to bring us to the same point at the same time. We had no doubt that He would do that.
I am, without question, incredibly satisfied with my marriage. I view marriage as a forever thing, and there is no doubt that John and I are together “until death do us part.”
It was in Minnesota, however, that our marriage and very being as Christians was shaken to the core. John and I had, quite honestly, had a life that went exactly according to plan. We married our high school sweetheart. We both were awarded full college scholarships. Despite some rough times financially during our first two years of marriage, we were completely debt free and enjoyed opportunities never available to us as children. Our relationship, our marriage, our college, our jobs, our lives . . . had gone very smoothly, and we considered ourselves truly blessed. We loved each other deeply and were the best of friends.
But it was in Minnesota that we decided it was time to start our family. And it was when we decided to start our family that we realized our life wasn’t going to take the direction we had envisioned. We spent the next four years in doctors’ offices dealing with the infertility. Five artificial inseminations, four attempts at IVF, and thousands upon thousands of dollars later, we were no closer to the family we had always dreamed of.
John and I had often talked of adoption. Even prior to our infertility diagnosis and prior to our marriage, we had shared the dream that we wanted to fill our house with children that didn’t have a home. We always said they could be any race that the Lord wanted. We dreamed of a big farm where we could give a home to children who didn’t have one. However, neither of us envisioned that that home would only include adopted and fostered children. We always thought our own biological children would also fill our home.
As the infertility journey pushed onward, we spoke of adoption periodically, but still had the idea that it was a “Plan B” – something that should be pursued after we had our own children.
During the spring of 2007, John and I made plans to go to Nigeria for a four week mission trip. It was during the preparations for this trip and during our time in Africa that we realized adoption was not “Plan B”. Adoption was Plan A! We both realized that we could love a child unconditionally even if they were not our child biologically. And we could accept the fact that our home many not include biological children. We continue to pray that we may someday be blessed with a biological child as well; however, we believe that all of our children will be loved equally no matter whose womb they grew in.
As we started discussing where we should adopt from, we never really considered domestic adoption. Growing up in South Florida, we were used to a melting pot of cultures. John’s family was the only Caucasian family on his block. My family went to an extremely diverse church and all of my friends at church were a conglomeration of races. We also knew that white children were in very high demand. There were so many couples that were intent on only adopting white children. We both felt like we should “save” the white children for couples that wouldn’t adopt any others. We, on the other hand, were quite okay with children who didn’t look like us. We had very dear friends in Minnesota who were a mixed race couple: he was born in India, and she was white. We would watch their daughter once a week while they attended foster parenting classes. One night, while Karuna was sitting on JB’s lap, passing gas and laughing hysterically, we both looked at each other at the same time, acknowledging that if this were our daughter, we could fall in love with her without question – despite the fact that she looked nothing like us and was not related to us biologically.
The next step in our adoption journey was picking an agency. I had heard about Steven Curtis Chapman and his adoptions through America World early on in our infertility journey. One stop on their webpage and I knew this was where we should go. John felt the same way. It was an instantaneous “perfect fit” for us. Once we picked America World, we then decided to pick the country we would like to adopt through. Our decision to go with China was two-fold. One, we liked the idea of adopting through a country that had done this many times – a country that might decrease the risks of facing a disappointment. We also thought that adopting through China would allow us to more easily find other couples and families who had “done this before” and could support us with advice and encouragement. In the future, we hope to adopt through other countries, however, we thought that China would be a good first step in our inclusion of other cultures into our family.
It is actually our hope that through the support of other people who have previously adopted through China, that we will be able to find support and encouragement for potential issues that may arise with our daughter. We want to present our daughter with a love for both her new culture and the culture she was born into. John and I love to travel! We have been to Africa and to Europe and all but a few of the continental United States. We have always been intrigued and fascinated by how “other people” live and the beauty of their country. We have no doubt that we will return to China with our daughter at some point in the future.
We have only been in Florida for a few months but have already been connected with two different families who have traveled similar roads. We have found a support group in the area as well and an online discussion forum. I believe that if we seek out the proper advice and encouragement, we will be able to successfully navigate the adoption concerns that may emerge. We know there will be “issues”, but we believe that while we don’t know what we are getting, we wouldn’t know what we were getting with our biological child either. We must just trust the Lord and walk one step at a time.
Both John and I have extensive experience with children. John was the second oldest of six children. In fact, he was sixteen when his youngest brother Rob was born. He jokes that he has changed more diapers than any father in America. I think this is probably true.
I grew up around children. I babysat extensively and worked in the nursery at church every week. Everyone who knew me called me the “mother hen”. I talked often about my life goals: to be a wife and a mom. That’s all I have ever wanted to be. John and I actually “fell in love” working at a summer camp together. We also have, subsequently, watched all of our friends begin starting their families. While we know we have a lot to learn, we know that we will be very good parents.
John and I feel that we can offer a child a fantastic home. In June, we relocated to a new community in northern Florida. We now live in a 1500 square foot, 3 bedroom home with a yard, and plenty of room for children on Eglin Air Force Base – a community that is extremely safe and guarded. We have one little puppy, a Dalmatian we call “Scrubs”, that we purposely purchased now, so we could train him well prior to the arrival of our daughter. We have friends throughout our neighborhood. We recently found a church we believe we will call home as long as we are here in Florida. One of the main things we loved about this church was all the internationally adopted children in the mix. At least five families, including the pastor and his wife, have adopted children of another race. And this is a small church of only a few hundred. As this is a military community, there is a large amount of diversity. There is also a large Asian culture as many military men have found their spouses overseas. We are not sure how long we will be a part of the military. John’s commitment will be at least through 2011. This will mean at least two more significant moves. However, we feel that the military community will be the perfect community to support our family and the daughter we hope to have join our community.
We are more excited that words could express to meet our daughter and to be parents at last. We know that we will blessed and our daughter will be blessed, and we cannot wait to meet her.
Growing up in South Florida as the oldest of two children, I had a fairly “storybook” like life. I was raised in a good Christian home. I attended a good Christian school. My parents were good Christian parents. My brother Keith, who was two years younger than myself was a typical younger brother. However, despite our normal sibling disagreements, we were both good kids that refrained from getting into any “real” trouble through adolescence. I feel unbelievably blessed to have been raised in the home that I was. I learned the value of money and quality time. Today I am incredibly close with my parents, my brother, and his wife.
My parents were foster parents themselves, and my little brother “John” is still someone I look back on with fond memories. In addition, we had a young African American mother and her daughter move in with us for an extended period of time while they tried to get back on their feet financially. I remember my brother and I willingly shared a room during this time without question. I was instilled with the value system that as Christians, we should care for the widows and the orphans. As John and I married, we also willingly opened our home to those who have fallen on difficult times. We learned to never turn people away.
My husband John (whom I call “JB”), meanwhile, was growing up in a very similar environment. The second oldest of six children, his family was also living in a house filled with love and the Lord. In fact, it was at that good Christian school that we met. While I was actually in the third grade when he first transferred to Fort Lauderdale Christian School, it wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I talked him into falling in love with me. He was a year older and his graduation took him to a nearby technical college on a full scholarship. We continued to date while he pursued a career as a graphic designer.
I grew up surrounded by athletics and had my pick of colleges and universities to attend on either a basketball, volleyball, or combination scholarship. I settled on basketball at Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green, Kentucky. After my second year of college, John was awarded his Associates Degree and decided to move to Kentucky so that we could end our long distance dating. He drove to Kentucky with what fit in his car and one month’s rent. He quickly found a job as a graphic designer for a local design firm.
Before my senior year of college, we decided to get married. We had been dating over four years at that point and despite our young ages (21 and 22), we had no doubt that we had found the perfect life partner. We had a modest wedding in Kentucky and settled into a comfy townhouse.
Over the next five years, our lives would go through a substantial number of changes. I took a job teaching high school English and journalism and coaching basketball and volleyball at a public high school about 30 miles from Bowling Green. A year later, we decided to move to that tiny town of 8,000 to eliminate my commute. The business John worked for went bankrupt, and he decided to open up his own graphic design business out of our home. He also made the decision during this time to go back to school while running his business. In 2003, he would be accepted at the prestigious Mayo Medical School in Rochester, Minnesota, and we would move there so that he could pursue his dream of becoming a physician. He would also be commissioned as an officer in the U.S. Air Force – a reverse GI bill of sorts that would pay for medical school.
We moved together to Rochester, Minnesota in 2003. I took a job teaching and coaching again while John began medical school. In 2004, I decided to change careers and began writing and editing for a non-profit organization and a cardiovascular researcher at the Mayo Clinic.
In June of 2007, we moved to Eglin Air Force Base in northern Florida. My husband began his internship in family medicine. I continue to work for the same two companies from my home. I work full-time writing and editing.
Both John and I are in very good health. My only health issues have been related to our infertility. I was diagnosed with PCOS and any medication I have taken was related to attempting to correct this problem or pursue infertility treatments.
I am unbelievably blessed with the husband the Lord picked out for me. John is my best friend. We have a wonderful and healthy marriage and enjoy spending time together immensely. I would not change my spouse for anything in the world. Quite honestly, the biggest conflict we have had during our nine years of marriage surrounded adoption. I felt I was ready to adopt only a year or two after we started infertility treatments. John did not feel I was ready for this. We handled this disagreement the way we always do – choosing to move forward only when both parties are on the same page. We meet in prayer and just asked the Lord to bring us to the same point at the same time. We had no doubt that He would do that.
I am, without question, incredibly satisfied with my marriage. I view marriage as a forever thing, and there is no doubt that John and I are together “until death do us part.”
It was in Minnesota, however, that our marriage and very being as Christians was shaken to the core. John and I had, quite honestly, had a life that went exactly according to plan. We married our high school sweetheart. We both were awarded full college scholarships. Despite some rough times financially during our first two years of marriage, we were completely debt free and enjoyed opportunities never available to us as children. Our relationship, our marriage, our college, our jobs, our lives . . . had gone very smoothly, and we considered ourselves truly blessed. We loved each other deeply and were the best of friends.
But it was in Minnesota that we decided it was time to start our family. And it was when we decided to start our family that we realized our life wasn’t going to take the direction we had envisioned. We spent the next four years in doctors’ offices dealing with the infertility. Five artificial inseminations, four attempts at IVF, and thousands upon thousands of dollars later, we were no closer to the family we had always dreamed of.
John and I had often talked of adoption. Even prior to our infertility diagnosis and prior to our marriage, we had shared the dream that we wanted to fill our house with children that didn’t have a home. We always said they could be any race that the Lord wanted. We dreamed of a big farm where we could give a home to children who didn’t have one. However, neither of us envisioned that that home would only include adopted and fostered children. We always thought our own biological children would also fill our home.
As the infertility journey pushed onward, we spoke of adoption periodically, but still had the idea that it was a “Plan B” – something that should be pursued after we had our own children.
During the spring of 2007, John and I made plans to go to Nigeria for a four week mission trip. It was during the preparations for this trip and during our time in Africa that we realized adoption was not “Plan B”. Adoption was Plan A! We both realized that we could love a child unconditionally even if they were not our child biologically. And we could accept the fact that our home many not include biological children. We continue to pray that we may someday be blessed with a biological child as well; however, we believe that all of our children will be loved equally no matter whose womb they grew in.
As we started discussing where we should adopt from, we never really considered domestic adoption. Growing up in South Florida, we were used to a melting pot of cultures. John’s family was the only Caucasian family on his block. My family went to an extremely diverse church and all of my friends at church were a conglomeration of races. We also knew that white children were in very high demand. There were so many couples that were intent on only adopting white children. We both felt like we should “save” the white children for couples that wouldn’t adopt any others. We, on the other hand, were quite okay with children who didn’t look like us. We had very dear friends in Minnesota who were a mixed race couple: he was born in India, and she was white. We would watch their daughter once a week while they attended foster parenting classes. One night, while Karuna was sitting on JB’s lap, passing gas and laughing hysterically, we both looked at each other at the same time, acknowledging that if this were our daughter, we could fall in love with her without question – despite the fact that she looked nothing like us and was not related to us biologically.
The next step in our adoption journey was picking an agency. I had heard about Steven Curtis Chapman and his adoptions through America World early on in our infertility journey. One stop on their webpage and I knew this was where we should go. John felt the same way. It was an instantaneous “perfect fit” for us. Once we picked America World, we then decided to pick the country we would like to adopt through. Our decision to go with China was two-fold. One, we liked the idea of adopting through a country that had done this many times – a country that might decrease the risks of facing a disappointment. We also thought that adopting through China would allow us to more easily find other couples and families who had “done this before” and could support us with advice and encouragement. In the future, we hope to adopt through other countries, however, we thought that China would be a good first step in our inclusion of other cultures into our family.
It is actually our hope that through the support of other people who have previously adopted through China, that we will be able to find support and encouragement for potential issues that may arise with our daughter. We want to present our daughter with a love for both her new culture and the culture she was born into. John and I love to travel! We have been to Africa and to Europe and all but a few of the continental United States. We have always been intrigued and fascinated by how “other people” live and the beauty of their country. We have no doubt that we will return to China with our daughter at some point in the future.
We have only been in Florida for a few months but have already been connected with two different families who have traveled similar roads. We have found a support group in the area as well and an online discussion forum. I believe that if we seek out the proper advice and encouragement, we will be able to successfully navigate the adoption concerns that may emerge. We know there will be “issues”, but we believe that while we don’t know what we are getting, we wouldn’t know what we were getting with our biological child either. We must just trust the Lord and walk one step at a time.
Both John and I have extensive experience with children. John was the second oldest of six children. In fact, he was sixteen when his youngest brother Rob was born. He jokes that he has changed more diapers than any father in America. I think this is probably true.
I grew up around children. I babysat extensively and worked in the nursery at church every week. Everyone who knew me called me the “mother hen”. I talked often about my life goals: to be a wife and a mom. That’s all I have ever wanted to be. John and I actually “fell in love” working at a summer camp together. We also have, subsequently, watched all of our friends begin starting their families. While we know we have a lot to learn, we know that we will be very good parents.
John and I feel that we can offer a child a fantastic home. In June, we relocated to a new community in northern Florida. We now live in a 1500 square foot, 3 bedroom home with a yard, and plenty of room for children on Eglin Air Force Base – a community that is extremely safe and guarded. We have one little puppy, a Dalmatian we call “Scrubs”, that we purposely purchased now, so we could train him well prior to the arrival of our daughter. We have friends throughout our neighborhood. We recently found a church we believe we will call home as long as we are here in Florida. One of the main things we loved about this church was all the internationally adopted children in the mix. At least five families, including the pastor and his wife, have adopted children of another race. And this is a small church of only a few hundred. As this is a military community, there is a large amount of diversity. There is also a large Asian culture as many military men have found their spouses overseas. We are not sure how long we will be a part of the military. John’s commitment will be at least through 2011. This will mean at least two more significant moves. However, we feel that the military community will be the perfect community to support our family and the daughter we hope to have join our community.
We are more excited that words could express to meet our daughter and to be parents at last. We know that we will blessed and our daughter will be blessed, and we cannot wait to meet her.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Adoption Option
The following post was written on January 19, 2007. It was the first time I acknowledged publicly on my Daily Blog that my husband and I were going to begin looking into adoption. Click here to read this post as it originally ran on my daily blog.
I have been very clear on this blog in the past that I preferred people not discuss adoption with me unless I bring it up.
This is not because JB and I do not plan to adopt. Even before we were married, we often discussed adoption and had plans to add to our family through adoption. Even before we knew conceiving on our own would be difficult, we planned to participate in adoption.
However, discussing adoption before someone is ready is a very sticky situation. It is especially sticky when the person who brings it up has children. We want to have a biological child. We still want that very much. Discussing adoption before someone is ready can be very painful. It can feel like people are giving up on your "pursuit" of a biological child.
I still cling to that advice. Do NOT under any circumstances discuss adoption with an infertile friend until they bring it up.
That being said, I am bringing it up.
JB and I have always moved forward on this infertility journey only when we were at the same point. Recently, we have seemed to come to the same point at the same time. We feel that we are ready to begin exploring the possibility of adoption. This does not mean we are going to stop infertility treatments. We plan, without question, to give all ten of our remaining "sticky babies" a chance at life. And it is our prayer that we do not lose even one more child. It also doesn't mean that we are adopting next week. Far from it. We are simply exploring.
Now before you say, "I have a friend who adopted and after she adopted she got pregnant ..." please refrain. That is one of the statements that infertile women hate to hear. Statistics in fact indicate that less than 1% of women get pregnant after they adopt. It seems like more because those are the stories you remember. While it does happen, it is the exception and not the rule. And if it happens to us, we are the exception. That statement seems to relate to the idea that if you are relaxed and not trying to get pregnant, you will. For someone like me, all the relaxing in the world doesn't change the fact that my body doesn't release an egg. While stress can affect pregnancy chances, it plays a very minor role.
That being said, please know that we are still believing and asking God EVERY DAY to have a biological child. We will not stop asking for that, and we believe in our hearts, that one day we will have a biological child. However, we have also come to a point that we believe adoption will enrich our family and that we can provide a good home for a child. We did not want to adopt to "fill a hole". We wanted to adopt when we felt that hole was filled, and we were adopting for the right reasons. I believe that I am at a point that we would be doing it for the right reasons.
Okay, so back to adoption. I am writing this post simply to inform my friends and family and other visitors that we are now discussing adoption. There are a lot of things to consider. On February 17th, we are going to attend a seminar in the Cities with ADOPTION WORLD. This is the group that Steven Curtis Chapman adopted through, and I just have such peace when I go to their website and read through their information packet. If we decide to adopt internationally, I think it is very probable we will use this group.
Actually, one of the the first steps in adoption is deciding whether or not you want to do domestic vs. international adoption. The women at Hannah's Prayer really helped me sort out where to begin. One of the women provided the list below to ascertain whether domestic or international adoption is for you. I thought it was really helpful.
1) Risk of birth-parent changing their mind (domestic) vs. virtually no risk (international)
2) Birth-mother choosing you (domestic) or choosing your child (international)
3) Some relationship with birth-family (domestic) or no relationship (international)
4) Length of wait - unknown (domestic) or 'some-what' of a set time-frame (international)
5) Becoming an international family (international)
6) Medical history (domestic) or little/no medical history (international)
7) Age at adoption - newborn (domestic) or between 9 and 12 months old (international)
So, anyways, I write this blog to tell you that we are definitely planning to proceed with our May 31st transfer. That is a for-sure. However, we are also exploring the possibility of moving forward with adoption while continuing to do infertility treatments. If we get pregnant at any point along the way, the adoption process would just be "halted". Most agencies and countries require your youngest child to be at least 6 months old before an adopted child enters your home. We may also decide to "halt" additional transfers while we pursue adoption. We are simply going to let the Lord lead. We know we are going to adopt. We just don't know what His timing is yet. We also may decide to do an additional "harvest" for IVF somewhere down the road. However, we think we will adopt prior to that. And of course, we continue to believe that the Lord will allow me to get pregnant without infertility treatments -- something that only He can do.
I just thought it important to tell people that I am okay with discussing adoption now. JB and I are on the same page, and we are excited about adding to our family through adoption. We don't know if it will be after, during, or before we have our own biological child. However, in speaking with my Dad while in Florida he reminded me that having an adopted child doesn't change God's mind about giving us a biological child. It doesn't say, "Lord I'm giving up on praying for a biological child." We will continue to pray for that forever.
Other than that, I can provide you with no answers. We are not sure if we will do international or domestic or if we do international what country we will do. Each country has its own rules. Fortunately JB and I fit into most every country's rules (number of divorces, number of years married, over 30 years of age, health, weight, financial status etc.) The countries also vary in how much they cost as well. The only "decision" we have sort of made is that we would like to adopt a younger child (probably under a year). In the future, we may adopt older children, but we want experience at parenting "from the ground up" first. We would also want to be a bit older before we adopt older children.
Lots to think about and plenty of time to think. However, you will probably be seeing some of my "thinking" on the blog so I thought it fair to let you know the thinking is going on.
Life is quite an adventure, huh?
I have been very clear on this blog in the past that I preferred people not discuss adoption with me unless I bring it up.
This is not because JB and I do not plan to adopt. Even before we were married, we often discussed adoption and had plans to add to our family through adoption. Even before we knew conceiving on our own would be difficult, we planned to participate in adoption.
However, discussing adoption before someone is ready is a very sticky situation. It is especially sticky when the person who brings it up has children. We want to have a biological child. We still want that very much. Discussing adoption before someone is ready can be very painful. It can feel like people are giving up on your "pursuit" of a biological child.
I still cling to that advice. Do NOT under any circumstances discuss adoption with an infertile friend until they bring it up.
That being said, I am bringing it up.
JB and I have always moved forward on this infertility journey only when we were at the same point. Recently, we have seemed to come to the same point at the same time. We feel that we are ready to begin exploring the possibility of adoption. This does not mean we are going to stop infertility treatments. We plan, without question, to give all ten of our remaining "sticky babies" a chance at life. And it is our prayer that we do not lose even one more child. It also doesn't mean that we are adopting next week. Far from it. We are simply exploring.
Now before you say, "I have a friend who adopted and after she adopted she got pregnant ..." please refrain. That is one of the statements that infertile women hate to hear. Statistics in fact indicate that less than 1% of women get pregnant after they adopt. It seems like more because those are the stories you remember. While it does happen, it is the exception and not the rule. And if it happens to us, we are the exception. That statement seems to relate to the idea that if you are relaxed and not trying to get pregnant, you will. For someone like me, all the relaxing in the world doesn't change the fact that my body doesn't release an egg. While stress can affect pregnancy chances, it plays a very minor role.
That being said, please know that we are still believing and asking God EVERY DAY to have a biological child. We will not stop asking for that, and we believe in our hearts, that one day we will have a biological child. However, we have also come to a point that we believe adoption will enrich our family and that we can provide a good home for a child. We did not want to adopt to "fill a hole". We wanted to adopt when we felt that hole was filled, and we were adopting for the right reasons. I believe that I am at a point that we would be doing it for the right reasons.
Okay, so back to adoption. I am writing this post simply to inform my friends and family and other visitors that we are now discussing adoption. There are a lot of things to consider. On February 17th, we are going to attend a seminar in the Cities with ADOPTION WORLD. This is the group that Steven Curtis Chapman adopted through, and I just have such peace when I go to their website and read through their information packet. If we decide to adopt internationally, I think it is very probable we will use this group.
Actually, one of the the first steps in adoption is deciding whether or not you want to do domestic vs. international adoption. The women at Hannah's Prayer really helped me sort out where to begin. One of the women provided the list below to ascertain whether domestic or international adoption is for you. I thought it was really helpful.
1) Risk of birth-parent changing their mind (domestic) vs. virtually no risk (international)
2) Birth-mother choosing you (domestic) or choosing your child (international)
3) Some relationship with birth-family (domestic) or no relationship (international)
4) Length of wait - unknown (domestic) or 'some-what' of a set time-frame (international)
5) Becoming an international family (international)
6) Medical history (domestic) or little/no medical history (international)
7) Age at adoption - newborn (domestic) or between 9 and 12 months old (international)
So, anyways, I write this blog to tell you that we are definitely planning to proceed with our May 31st transfer. That is a for-sure. However, we are also exploring the possibility of moving forward with adoption while continuing to do infertility treatments. If we get pregnant at any point along the way, the adoption process would just be "halted". Most agencies and countries require your youngest child to be at least 6 months old before an adopted child enters your home. We may also decide to "halt" additional transfers while we pursue adoption. We are simply going to let the Lord lead. We know we are going to adopt. We just don't know what His timing is yet. We also may decide to do an additional "harvest" for IVF somewhere down the road. However, we think we will adopt prior to that. And of course, we continue to believe that the Lord will allow me to get pregnant without infertility treatments -- something that only He can do.
I just thought it important to tell people that I am okay with discussing adoption now. JB and I are on the same page, and we are excited about adding to our family through adoption. We don't know if it will be after, during, or before we have our own biological child. However, in speaking with my Dad while in Florida he reminded me that having an adopted child doesn't change God's mind about giving us a biological child. It doesn't say, "Lord I'm giving up on praying for a biological child." We will continue to pray for that forever.
Other than that, I can provide you with no answers. We are not sure if we will do international or domestic or if we do international what country we will do. Each country has its own rules. Fortunately JB and I fit into most every country's rules (number of divorces, number of years married, over 30 years of age, health, weight, financial status etc.) The countries also vary in how much they cost as well. The only "decision" we have sort of made is that we would like to adopt a younger child (probably under a year). In the future, we may adopt older children, but we want experience at parenting "from the ground up" first. We would also want to be a bit older before we adopt older children.
Lots to think about and plenty of time to think. However, you will probably be seeing some of my "thinking" on the blog so I thought it fair to let you know the thinking is going on.
Life is quite an adventure, huh?
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