Support Others

Here is a link to a fantastic resource which provides you with information on how to support and stand alongside people who are adopting. 

Adoption: the Standridge Family

 

 

By the eve of our fourth wedding anniversary we had been wanting to have a baby without success. My husband asked me what I would like for our anniversary and I sheepishly answered, “A baby.” He gently told me he couldn't promise me that, but that we'd have a nice celebration of four happy years.

An anniversary wish impossible for my husband to promise was not impossible for God! The next day we heard that after waiting four months with an adoption agency, we had been chosen to parent a baby due to be born in two weeks! Miraculously, we were the expectant couple's second choice of a family to parent their son. The first family selected had decided that adoption was not God's plan for them and said no to the adoption match.

Although we were his birth parents' second choice, we were God's first choice for Erik. If we had become pregnant one of the months and years we hoped and prayed to, we would not have pursued adoption. We wanted a baby, we thought we couldn't have one, God placed adoption on our hearts, and then came Erik. Simple? Not really. Impossible? Not for God.

When Erik was four months old, after four years of infertility, we discovered we were expecting! Our second son Andrew was born one year and four days after his big brother Erik.

Erik is now six years old, Andrew is five, and our “later in life surprise” Jenna just turned one year old. Although you hear about it often, it is really not common for couples who have adopted because of infertility to then conceive and have other children. But God's plan will not be thwarted and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9). Praise Him!

 

Adoption: Aaron and Kristen

It's absolutely amazing how God places people in our lives at just the right times and just the right places.  We met John and Wendi when they were going through infertility.  We had always thought we would adopt, but had never actually walked along with another couple going through infertility.  A couple years later, we found ourselves working through our own infertility and reaching out to John and Wendy for their thoughts on domestic adoption.  We had been starting to work with a local adoption agency which, while a fabulous agency, just wasn't feeling right for us.  I will never forget Wendy telling me that they had looked at Bethany at one time, and she and John felt that it was a very reputable agency.

Fast forward another 8 months (and working with Bethany), and I was at work when my husband called to tell me a baby boy had been born that morning and his parents wanted us to adopt him.  Little did we know how different our lives would become in that one phone call.  The love and total awe we have for the fact that Noah is our son are beyond any words that I have.  It was truly love at first sight, and we couldn't ask for a more perfect fit for our family!  We are blessed way beyond anything we deserve or ever imagined. 

Two years later we were matched with a young lady who was having a little girl.  I was in the delivery room that June morning when Lillian was born.  There are no words to explain how humbling it was to watch Jamie (Lillian's birthmom) give birth to her daughter and hand her to me.  I still cry even writing about it :)  The true love it took for Jamie to carry Lillian and give birth to her and then to make a plan for us to raise her...  I am am speechless!

And now we find ourselves getting ready to start waiting for a third baby to join our family.  Even after being blown away by God's goodness through our first two adoptions, I find myself nervous and anxious about how this third baby will fit into our family.  And then I spend time with my two kids and remember that we have been truly blessed through adoption beyond anything we ever imagined or dreamed. 

Free Adoption Resource

 

Adoptive families of all kinds can benefit from the support of their church, family, and community. Will you be a part of the support network for an adoptive family you know?

Take the pledge today and commit to serving an adoptive family. You'll receive a free download of the booklet, "Wrapping around Adoptive Families," with practical advice and ideas on how to help. Invite others to join you, and make serving an adoptive family a fun part of your day!

Click here to download your booklet today!

Adoption: Jody Cantrell Dyer

 

What follows is an excerpt from the book The Eye of Adoption.

 

Kerri and I sat, she in her wheelchair, I in the hospital’s hardwood rocker, between the single bed and the window. I had opened the blinds earlier so sunlight could warm Room 32.

 

The metal-molded window framed a mundane view. Three floors below the window, a long sloped sidewalk sat parallel to a two way street. Across the street, trucks and cars dotted a charcoal parking lot. A graveled afterthought of a parking area lay above the more formal spaces. I saw no people. The only life and movement came from a row of trees planted equidistantly along the sidewalk. The scene looked uninteresting and ordinary. But the events inside the building supported by the parking spots, street, and sidewalk were extraordinary.

 

Kerri and I faced one another in front of that bright hospital window on that beautiful May morning and talked for a long time. Isolated and insulated by the hospital, I felt secure as I observed my son and his birthmother together. I also felt compelled to witness to Kerri, remembering that Mark said I was the closest thing to Jesus that Kerri knew. I could have seized that moment to share scripture with the frail girl in front of me, but I thought, Who am I to tell this angel about sacrifice? She loves Scotty, unconditionally, infinitely, by nature’s default. She has given up a life with him, for him. She is the closest thing to Jesus I have ever known.

 

I cannot remember what we said to one another but I do remember that, as I watched Kerri hold, talk to, and kiss Scotty, I thought of the hymn lyrics, “There’s a sweet, sweet spirit in this place.” Those moments with Kerri were a sacred privilege.

Jody Cantrell Dyer is an adoptive mother, teacher, and author in East Tennessee, USA. In her novel, The Eye of Adoption: the true story of my turbulent wait for a baby, Dyer directly addresses the sorrows of infertility and the demands of adoption while consistently word-weaving a life-rope of assurance, optimism, and humor for her readers.

The Eye of Adoption is available on Amazon.com and through Jody’s website: www.jodydyer.com. Free Kindle downloads are available November 15-17!

Read Jody’s blog, Theories: Size 12, Musings from a Mountain Mama at www.jodydyer.blogspot.com. 

Email Jody at jdyer415@yahoo.com.

Adoption: The Connor Family

 

 

John and I married in November of 2003. After a little over a year of marriage, we began trying to having a baby. Seven months went by with no pregnancy. Then John joined the military which led to a 14 month geographic separation since I was also in the military and unable to be stationed near him. We hadn't been able to try for the full year, so finding out whether there was a problem had to wait until we could be reunited. Once we were back together we began trying again, but still no baby came. After going through all the infertility testing, the doctor told us our only chance of getting pregnant was IVF with ICSI (you can read more here). I wanted to pursue adoption right away, but John wanted to try treatment first, so we decided to do two rounds of treatment and then move on if it was unsuccessful. Our first cycle resulted in pregnancy, but ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks. Our second cycle was negative. Nothing about that cycle went well. God had given us a clear no.

We took some time to mourn this loss and let go of the dream of having a biological child together as God prepared us for the next step. What many people don't realize is that there are losses associated with infertility that adoption doesn't solve: creating a child together; announcing your pregnancy to your husband, friends, and family; the experience of pregnancy and childbirth; breastfeeding (I know adoptive breastfeeding is possible with hormones); and parenting a child from birth (possible only with domestic infant adoption). These are very real losses that must be dealt with and accepted before you can move forward with adoption with an open heart. What I realized is that for me the pain of seeing a pregnant women was less about the experience of pregnancy and more about the child that would come. I wanted to be a parent more than I want to be pregnant.  What I wanted most was to be a mom. I see adoption as an alternate path to parenthood, but one that is equally as good as parenting a biological child. It is not second best. I wrote about our journey to deciding to adopt here.

Initially, we thought we would pursue domestic infant adoption, but the Lord directed a change in course and led us to adopt from South Korea through a little girl that needed a family. You can see from our picture that the little girl did not become part of our family (praise God she was able to stay with her mom!), but we were now on the path that led us to both of our sons. We brought our first son Joshua JoonSeo home on September 3rd, 2011, almost seven years from when we first started trying to have children. It was a long and difficult wait, but Joshua was so worth it. I seriously can't believe I get to be mom to such an amazing little boy. He is so full of life and joy.

We had moved to Arizona three months before bringing Joshua home. Because AZ requires home studies to be certified by the court, we had to completely re-do ours. It was a little frustrating at the time since we were so close to having Joshua home. But it turned out to be a huge blessing because just four months after Joshua came home, we received a phone call from our new adoption agency asking us if we were interested in adopting another little boy. She had a referral for a little boy, but no family that was paperwork ready except us. He was born right when I was doing all the paperwork for our home study! Our second son Jonah RiYoon came home just over a month ago on October 1st, 2013.

Psalm 130:5 says, "I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." His word says the Lord "settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children" (Psalm 113:9). There was a time when I doubted whether I would ever become a mom, but ultimately I decided to believe God is who He says he is and does what He says He will do and He did.

Through adoption, the Lord has made me a joyful mother of children.

Adoption: Debbie Michaels

Debbie and her son Roma, adopted from Russia 11 years ago.

What is the first step in the process of adoption?

As an adoptive mother for over eleven years now, I remember my first unexpected step very vividly!  Already the proud and very comfortable mother of three older children, I was NOT interested in taking any steps that might disrupt my status quo.

God obviously had other plans for me!

In a rare moment of heightened awareness of God, my heart heard one troubling, unwelcome word—"adoption."  The relentlessly  recurring theme of "adoption" would soon morph into "adoption of an older Russian boy."  

"But God," I would argue, "haven't You noticed I have three kids already?" "But God, don't you see how busy I am?"  "But God, I don't want to."

Tiny, reluctant steps eventually led us to Russia two years later, in 2002, to bring home seven-year-old Roma, a child who had been relinquished to an orphanage at the same time God had first whispered "adoption" to my heart. It didn't take long for us to recognize that God had Hand-picked this funny boy especially for our family. I am so grateful that we didn't miss out on the wonders and the glory God had in store for us!

Last fall I published But the Greatest of These is Love about our journey of following God to adoption. I learned God's will for our lives is infinitely richer than the safe, comfortable lives we plan for ourselves. My prayer is that our story makes Him visible.

All profits go to orphan care. Free download through Amazon, Nov 22-24.